"Slow dancing in a burning room."

(The following post is a message left unsent. It seems as though that I am always the one to end things, and because of which, am always the one regretting doing so. In every circumstance, the first one to walk away is me... however, this was the exception. I write this to simply put into words what I could never say... not now, at least.)

I don’t like putting down a book. Never have. I mean, if I start reading something, if I purposely invest time in it, I want to see how it ends (even if it does suck.) Actually, I think that I’ve only put down one book in my life. “Abraham Lincoln, Vampire Hunter.” Now that book was pretty good, but I had to stop reading it; it gave me nightmares. I guess sometimes you have to stop something good cuzz it hurts you in the long run…

Having said all this, I feel like you’ve checked-out. I don’t know why this surprises me, actually. Everyone always does.

I think the surprising aspect of it is “why.” I don’t feel that I did anything wrong. I sincerely wanted to get to know you, understand you. And I enjoyed the challenge. You made me laugh; our conversations were actually meaningful. Our friendship was easy, like breathing. Just came naturally, I guess.

And then, for whatever reason, you became a dickwad.

Whenever I do put down a book, I always read the last page before doing so. I guess I just like knowing how it ends even if I didn't make it through the middle. Consider this our “last page.” The first couple of chapters were fun… but “sometimes, you have to stop something good cuzz it hurts (too much) in the long run.”